Owlhaven

Of ballrooms and kitchens. And letting it begin with me.

Owlhaven — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 14:56:12 +0000

I sit on the edge of my bed, tears squeezing past closed eyelids. I’m rehashing a conversation that went badly, replaying my words in my head, wondering where I goofed, how my gently-intended words were so misunderstood, how an evening went from peace to a snarl of unhappiness that I can’t shake hours later. Was the fault mine? Was there overreaction on the other person’s part? I don’t know. I just wish I hadn’t spoken.

There’s a ballroom scene I’ve seen in a dozen movies, dancers spinning briskly around the room, couples moving different directions, none colliding, choreography picture perfect. Not even in my most idealistic moments would I expect family life to resemble that picture. Of course in the family dance, there are collisions between dancers now and then. Moments that bump, resulting in tears and apologies and direction changes to avoid future insult.

Really, though, family life isn’t a bit like a ballroom. It’s more like cramming the whole crew into a small kitchen, opening the dishwasher and the silverware drawer and half a dozen cupboards, and then assigning everyone a different task. It’s hot and crowded and everyone’s in a hurry and when you’re not getting kicked in the shins, you’re banging your head or your hip on a door. And danged right you’re irritated at the person blocking the knife drawer, because how the heck are you gonna cut this onion if you can’t even reach a knife?

That’s why we all desperately require grace. I need to give grace to the one who just jabbed me in the ribs, so that he can go on to give grace to the one who kicked him in the shins, so she can then pass grace to the one who just growled threateningly. Because in something as tight as a family, the dynamic is all about reactivity.

Yeah, ~~sometimes~~ usually always that means forgiving someone who doesn’t deserve it. It means biting back retorts richly deserved. It means forgiving thoughtlessness and smallness of heart and emotion-fueled stupidity all in the interest of peace. Because if I spew frustration, no matter how justified, that frustration is going to spill to the next person, and the next, until the whole family is one big snarl of unhappy emotion. We’re all swimming in the same stew after all.

But if I can model grace, if I can strive to not take offense, I can be a part of the best kind of chain reaction there is, where one kind act leads to another. Where love and grace are spread by people conscious they’re being loved better than they deserve. It’s a hard, hard thing to do. One that can only be done imperfectly, and only by God’s power. But, oh, how I want that atmosphere to permeate my family.

Let it begin with me.

Mikarose giveaway

Owlhaven — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 01:19:41 +0000

I have a really fun giveaway to share with you today! It is a $60 gift card from Mikarose. Mikarose is a clothing company that specializes in modest, elegant and fashionable dresses. To enter the drawing, just check out their website and tell me which item you think you might choose if you won the gift card. I’ll pick a winner on Monday, March 22nd.

Radio: Living Inspired

Owlhaven — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 06:30:41 +0000

Just wanted to let you know that this week I’ll be chatting with Tricia Goyer on Living Inspired. The show is on Thursday afternoon at 3 PM central time. I’ll be talking about our adoption story, among other things. You can tune in live, or listen to the tape of the broadcast afterwards at the Living Inspired website. Doubtless I’ll be the one stammering all over the place. Yikes.

Sunday

Owlhaven — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 05:31:39 +0000

ouch

Owlhaven — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 22:09:57 +0000

This evening, my 18 year old son, my hubby and I are going to Junior Senior Banquet, the genteel home-school version of prom. Fancy clothes, fancy dinner, pictures, talent show, folk dancing. My son and I have been looking forward to it for weeks. My hubby, not so much.

This afternoon my hubby and I were discussing what he should wear. He jokingly tossed out the idea of a t-shirt and jeans with a suit coat. I laughed and said no way.

“Who am I trying to impress, anyway?” he said, eyes twinkling teasingly.

“Your wife!” I said with a grin, a poke in the ribs, and a kiss.

From across the room came the wry voice of our 12 year old son. “Well, that never works.”

Book review: Sons of Thunder

Owlhaven — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 18:10:03 +0000

Recently I was asked to review the book Sons of Thunder . I struggle to find time to read fiction these days, but I knew that Amanda, my oldest daughter, is always looking for good fiction, so I handed the book off to her to check out. Here’s what she had to say about the book:

“It was a pretty good story with good writing. I liked the way she described places. They felt real and very easy to picture. I also liked the historical aspects the author threw in.

“My overall impression though, was that the whole darn book was a tragedy to the point of being unrealistic. Sure, some people do have really hard lives, but all three of the main characters?? I don’t know if they’re trying to sell it as a Christian book, but that was not emphasized or explained nearly enough for it to be believable that these people were helped by their faith. Mostly, it seemed questionable that they even had any. I got the impression that they were supposed to be growing in faith over the course of the book, but I didn’t get the impression that they ever really did. There were some strong gratuitous allusions to un-Christian behavior as well as a rather unsavory lifestyle in general for at least one character.

“This author has written over two dozen books, but from this example I don’t think I’d be terribly inclined to try any others. It was interesting enough that I wanted to finish it once I started, but overall I was dissatisfied and wouldn’t recommend this book very strongly.”

‘Escape’ crafting: things I want to make

Owlhaven — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 14:41:52 +0000

When I get frustrated with things in life I can’t change, and need a mental lift, I always think of crafts. I love making small changes, improving a bit of my life, making a tiny thing new. In the past few weeks I’ve finished scarves for four of my daughters, using yarn I bought years ago. The other day the kids and I cleaned up a spot behind the hay barn to use for picture taking. Monday I took an old shirt of mine and turned it into a cute skirt for my youngest.

Yesterday I bought a yummy ball of yarn and some new bamboo knitting needles, hoping to make these sweet socks. I ‘ll show you pictures of what I’m doing later. I have been experimenting knitting on the round with a single circular needle. It is fun but tricky. The start of my ’sock’ ended up more the size of a hat toddler’s hat. The yarn’s too big and I don’t think I understand the sock pattern well enough to shrink it, so I think I’ll just go with it and let it be a hat. Here’s another cute sock pattern I’ve got my eye on for later, with smaller yarn.

Another random idea I’m saving for later: turning a mason jar into a soap dispenser. Isn’t it cute?

Do you use crafts as a break from ‘real’ life? Have you bookmarked any fun ideas lately?

Alecha- Ethiopian comfort food

Owlhaven — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 12:24:50 +0000

Recipe here

School today

Owlhaven — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 23:55:02 +0000

He might want more than two

Owlhaven — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 05:08:03 +0000

CLICK HERE to enter the giveaway for a $100 gift card from OXICLEAN

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This evening my 5 year old came to tell me about a picture she had drawn. Her explanation was so funny that I had to write the story down.

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Jack was little and then he turned big. He was looking for food, like meat, out in the wild for 20 years. He found a hot dog stand. Chloe was working there. She said, “OK, I’ll give you two hot dogs.”