Recently the adoption community was rocked by the news that an adoptive mother of many children was killed in a car accident. It is so hard to process news like this. That’s when faith has to come in, I guess– faith that the God who knows everything knows better than we do. But oh, it’s hard to trust that God really does have a good plan for those precious children.
My friend Carrien recently wrestled with a similar issue when friends of theirs died, also in a car accident. She talked about how a lot of times no matter how hard we try, we can’t change everything we’d like to change in this world, and how futile that can sometimes feel. When she shared those feelings with her husband, here’s what he said: “You are a very minor drop in the bucket, just as I am, just as we all are. We have no ability to predict the outcome of our actions, positive or negative. We do what we do, because it is who we are, not because we are changing the world.”
She said that for a long time she’s made choices in life in this way: “I ask myself who I want to be, and then I act the way that person would act.”
Isn’t that a great thought?? I love it. It’s taken me years to truly understand that I can’t really change other folks. I can’t solve all the problems I want to solve. But I can work on myself.
Who do I want to be?
My friend Tisha, a fellow adoptive mom, has also been doing some thinking about life-legacy. When she heard about that adoptive mom who died, who left a tremendous legacy of love to her family, Tisha decided on three words that she most wants to represent her. She chose brave, reflective, and impactful. Aren’t those great words? She even asked her children to choose words of their own– you really ought to go read the whole post for a fuller picture of her thoughts about all this.
After reading her words, I just had to choose some words of my own. I hyphenated to get a bit more in there, but here’s my three. Joyous. Grace-filled. Giving.
Oh, I want to be all that to the ones around me. What about you? How would you like to be remembered when the time comes for you to leave this world?
“…being confident in this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion.” Philippians 1:6