Owlhaven » Family

just around the river bend

Owlhaven — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 17:48:47 +0000

Fishing to some people involves a dock and a lawn chair, or a boat out on the lake. But to us and to our kids, fishing means putting on water shoes and ‘getting wet’ clothes, and hiking a winding river whose banks look different every year.

Much of the river meanders shallow. You can walk along the edges, in scrub willows and long grass, or wade the round-rocked riverbed with water no higher than your knees. But always you’re scanning for holes, deep bits of water. The ones under overhanging riverbanks or downed dead trees are best. Because that’s where the trout like to hide.

The first steps into the mountain water in the morning are always a little breath-taking. Even in July, snow can be seen on the mountain tops above us, and the melting snow coming down into our river is cold. But this July weekend the mix was perfect. Enough sun to keep our wet legs from being chilled. Enough cool water below and around us to keep the sun from feeling too hot.

Dad helps kids get poles set up. This is not ‘drop the worm in and wait an hour’ passive fishing. We fish with spinners, hooks with shiny ‘wings’ that spin as we reel in. We’re always casting, reeling, and casting again, keeping the spinners active and appealing to the trout.

The best places to cast are usually the most perilous. Straight towards the hook-eating tree snags, where big trout hide in the shade. With each cast towards logs, we take the risk of getting hooks caught in snags. When a hook gets caught, dad or an older kid is summoned to wade deep, untangle, rescue the $3 lure.

Kids play at fishing as soon as they’re too big to be carried in a backpack, usually by the time they’re three. They start with ‘bobber-only’ poles –no hooks til they’re decent at casting. At first they’re too little to even notice they don’t have a hook, and by the time they notice they’ve already gotten better at casting.

When they’ve graduated to a pole with a hook, they start with a single hook. Single hooks are easier and less painful than trebles to get out if a cast gets wild. This year our five year old and I shared a pole, with people standing well back from her as she cast. This is her third year fishing, and she’s getting a decent cast.

This year we had five poles for 9 people, with people taking turns fishing and playing. Sometimes there was chatter and splashing. Some sun-bathing.

But when dad pulled a fish out of a big hole, the mood got more serious. Mom called ‘shhhhh’, and the waders and the dog came out of the water to sit on the bank and watch. The fish were biting. No chasing them away.

Kids grinned as fish came flashing in.

Dad helped kids get fish off hooks, sometimes getting bit as a wild trout thrashed a hook into his palm. But he ended up with the catch of the day himself, a 17 inch trout.

I alternated between fishing pole and camera, uncertain which toy I liked better. My final tally? 600+ pictures and one small fish, who leaped obligingly back into the river as I touched his slick body to toss him back.

Whether we’re catching fish or not, I’m content. No, more than content. I walk along, humming, and think that these are some of the very best moments in my life. The.best. These are memories I will hang onto when I am a little old lady, memories of walking in the sun and the water with my family around me.

Evening is for gathering quiet, with hot dogs and marshmallows on a camp fire at the riverbank.

Kids cook food over smoky fire with willow sticks so fresh and green that the stick slips in your hand.

The fruit of their effort is sticky and sweet. They smile as they sit on benches to eat.

Sun comes low and turns river water golden. A beautiful end to a beautiful day.

harvest

Owlhaven — Fri, 23 Jul 2010 16:26:15 +0000

This afternoon I sat in my shady corner of the deck next to our pool, and watched my kids splash into the water one by one. With only one child in the water, waves were small. But as more kids splashed and leaped their way in, the water got choppier, the waves bigger, the decibel level higher. That’s life in a family. The more people in the family, the choppier the waves.

As a mom I can sometimes feel overwhelmed by so many waves roiling in different directions. There are days where I barely go five minutes without dealing with issues. If I’m not reminding someone for the gazillionth time not to use that biting tone with a sibling, I’m asking that a job be redone correctly, or requiring a redo of a reply to me that was way too sassy. Always, issues. With no guarantee I’m making any headway.

But this evening I was gifted with a glimpse, a moment of sun sparkling down into my forest of ‘issues’. I’d assigned my 12 year old daughter the week’s cookie-baking, a mere 10 dozen or so. I’ve given her this job almost every week for the past year, and every week she greets this request with sighs and eye-rolling. (I’m still working on that issue.)

The cookie project started as my sneaky way of giving her more reading practice. She came home from Ethiopia 3 years ago knowing 20 words of English. Early on, this job would have been impossible. Two years in, it was still a difficult task. She despised it at first. Didn’t understand so many things. No surprise. There’s so. much. to learn when coming to a whole new world. “What is ‘Nestle Toll House Morsel’, Mom?”

But gradually, slowly, she has come to master cookie baking. This afternoon I caught a look of pure peaceful absorption on her face as she leaned over her cookie sheet, neatly, precisely laying balls of cookie dough down. And this is a child who doesn’t find peace easily. She’s gone from hating the task to really owning it, to caring about the outcome.

A few minutes later when I asked her to run help a sibling find a shoe, she counseled me to set the timer for nine minutes exactly. Not eight. Not ten. She knew exactly how she wanted those cookies, and she wanted to make sure I’d finish them properly. Whether she cares to admit it or not, she’s come to take pride in knowing how to make cookies well.

If I’d caved in to her complaints, given up and reassigned the job during those early months of cranky cookie baking, she wouldn’t be at this stage of mastery right now. She wouldn’t get to experience the satisfaction of being truly good at this. And I’d have missed the pleasure of seeing her absorbed and engaged in doing something so well.

Glory hallelujah, perseverance really does pay off.

Yes, as with all things in life, I need to remember balance. Every day I remind myself to not over-expect, to model contentment with now, to praise the good that’s there. But it is wonderful to have these brief shining moments where I see fruit of effort with perfect clarity. Where the end of the difficult path is illuminated, and I see there really is hope for the future. My kids are learning, benefiting from my dogged persistence, my insistence that they work on things that are not easy or convenient.

And in teaching them, I am learning and relearning the very same lesson.

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” Galatians 6:9

And sometimes that harvest looks like perfect chocolate chip cookies.

unexpected fruit

Owlhaven — Sat, 17 Jul 2010 06:41:40 +0000

When we first moved to our place in the country, the landscaping consisted of a hillside full of weeds, a good-sized rock pile, and a bedraggled wild rose that still today ekes out a living on our ditch bank. We dreamed of trees, huge ones, shady and rustling in the wind. So whenever we had a few extra dollars, we’d go buy another tree.

That particular day, we had colorful leaves in mind, and so we went to the nursery and picked an ornamental plum tree. I was sure that we needed to go get the pickup truck to tote it home, but John was equally sure that it would fit beautifully into the back of the minivan. It was one of those moments that flamed to fierceness, both of us frustrated at the other’s bullheadedness.

Tired of doing battle in the nursery parking lot, John forced the tree into the back of the van. Tender toward the tree instead of my husband, I insisted on riding in back to support the tree. Unable to dissuade me, he spun out of the parking lot with unnecessary force, with both me and the tree shifting uneasily around in the back of the minivan at every turn.

My hissed cautions from the back only gave him more of a leadfoot. He was determined to get home where he could escape his shrewish wife. By the time we finally made it there, we were both so upset that the last thing we wanted to do was plant a tree together. We did somehow, but as I watched his strong angry shovel toss fresh dirt grave-like onto the root ball, I knew I’d never be able to look at this tree without remembering the feelings of this moment. Including the shame already creeping in at the realization that my cussedness had played way too big a role in the tempest.

I wondered if the tree would die– almost hoped it would, actually. But it was made of tough stock. It grew and thrived and grew some more. Soon the mailbox became hard to see past the plum.

Ornamental it is. The leaves are a lovely purple, especially in the spring when growth is new. But a handful of years after the planting, it surprised us by bearing fruit. Tart, yes, just like the words spoken as we barreled home that afternoon. But lovely for plum jam, and also much coveted by hungry children who spend July afternoons swimming. Late in the day just before dinner, they can often be found standing around the tree, reaching high for the ripest, warmest, deepest-purple treasure.

I still wish I’d handled that day with more grace, more love, less stubbornness. But instead of being a bitter memory, that tree to me is now living evidence of resilience, of forgiveness, of grace, and of unexpected blessing, more than we deserve.

Church camp

Owlhaven — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 07:17:50 +0000

Ever since I somehow ended up in charge of organizing the food for our yearly church camp, I’ve looked forward to camp with a mixture of dread and anticipation. However, it’s definitely getting less scary the longer I’m in charge. This year, my 4th as head cook, was the highest attendance ever, with 80-100 people at most meals. That came to a total of 1040 meals over 4 days’ time.

Thankfully I had lots of help. My sister and a friend helped me shop– a huge undertaking, requiring 5 carts at Costco, 3 at Winco, and partial carts at 4 other stores. Then at each meal there were 4 volunteers in the kitchen doing the cooking. I was in and out answering questions and cooking ‘pet’ recipes, but other people did the bulk of the work at each meal. Everything went smoothly, and I was pleased that we could offer people some really good food at a cost of about $1.50 a plate.

We did traditional favorites like pancakes, tacos, and pizza. This year for the first time we also served teriyaki chicken (using the teriyaki sauce recipe from my book), plus fried rice and egg rolls. It was really well received. However the last half hour of prep was breathlessly crazy, and the stoves looked like an oil slick after we were done. I’m still trying to decide if that meal is worth doing again.

Another new thing was fresh biscuits for 2 breakfasts. My 15 year old and I rolled out ~~a bunch of~~ 12 dozen biscuits at home (using this recipe) then froze them, and waited til camp to bake them. They turned out well, and I think I’ll do them again.

We also added a pasta bar for one dinner. We offered two pasta choices (spaghetti or wagon wheel pasta) and two sauces (marinara with meatballs, or a ridiculously yummy alfredo sauce– here’s the recipe)! It was a bit more work than the frozen lasagna we have done other years. But it was half the cost, and I think people enjoyed having options at the meal.

Of course there was lots to camp besides the cooking. It was fun hanging out with friends and family, watching the kids tubing, singing, eating s’mores by the campfire, and of course snapping tons of photos. I got nearly 1000 over the 4 days, and gave my new 85 mm lens a good testing. It is a sweet, sweet lens! It gets great clarity at a distance, lovely unfocused backgrounds, and really excellent color. Here are a few pictures – click to enlarge.

What a daddy will do for his girl

Owlhaven — Mon, 14 Jun 2010 08:52:43 +0000

Normally my hubby isnt remotely interested in ‘girly’ things. He’s happy out in his shop or garden, building and improving, leaving dolls and clothes to the girls. But when it comes to a little girl’s birthday and a trip to the store for a new stuffed friend, John can become surprisingly interested in stuffed animals and their little clothes. Granted, he lobbies for denim, leather, and leopard print clothing. But watching him joining in the shopping, and holding little clothes up for my daughter to admire tugs at my heart in an unexpectedly sweet way. He’s a good daddy.

Projects aplenty

Owlhaven — Fri, 11 Jun 2010 07:04:45 +0000

…but nothing that exactly fits on the blog at this moment. So I’ll share some pictures of my sweet girl on her 8th birthday.

Talking about large families

Owlhaven — Wed, 09 Jun 2010 14:52:32 +0000

Here are links to a couple of interviews I did recently in case you are interested.

COMMITMENTNOW.COM: Think it Impossible to Keep Kids Happy?

CROSSWALK.COM Large Families: Blessing or Burden?

Also –on Thursday, Living Inspired is running an interview I did with Mary Byers.

Birthday tea party

Owlhaven — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 13:35:09 +0000

Here are a few pictures of my sweet daughter’s 8th birthday party. We invited ladies and girls to a tea party, which turned out to be a lot of fun. The menu included these yummy sandwiches, bagels with cream cheese, strawberries, pineapple, veggies and dip, jello, cupcakes, and brownies. I brought in a picnic table and benches to make our normal table long enough to accommodate 20, and enjoyed using the new-to-me white dishes I gathered from thrift stores recently.

The only activity that I planned besides visiting was cupcake-decorating, which the girls seemed to enjoy. My daughter had fun picking various bright candies that the girls could use to decorate the cupcakes, and their creations were lovely. We asked the guests to dress up, which I think added to the fun of the event. My daughter glowed through the entire party and told me afterwards that she had SO.MUCH.FUN.

Success!

5 tips for surviving a dIfFIcuLt day

Owlhaven — Thu, 03 Jun 2010 23:56:57 +0000

We all have them. Days where the rain won’t stop and the kids have ‘tudes and the car breaks down and the house is a wreck, and your mood is as low as a turtle’s belly. You want to resign, or at least escape for a day. But of course that would involve finding a babysitter and making something easy for dinner and cleaning up the living room and dressing the baby and yourself and deciding where on earth to go for actual rejuvenation, if that is even possible. And let’s be real here: some days it is just impossible to escape. The only way out of your mood is through. Here are some of the ways that I power through when the day just seems too hard to face.

1. Pray, read a Psalm, and then turn on some uplifting music, preferably loudly enough that you feel the beat in your chest. (See: Mary’s Happy Playlist) Bonus points if you’ve got enough gumption to grab a kid or two by the hand and dance.

2. Clean up a tiny portion of your world, even if it’s just the living room or your kitchen sink.

3. Get dressed, put on your shoes, and take a 15 minute walk. Bonus points if you’re willing to go out in the rain. Your kids will love it. Stick the baby in the baby carrier, grab that umbrella, take your kids by the hands, and go!

4. Cook something yummy, and enlist your kids to help. If you don’t have the energy to let them help, that’s OK. You can still keep them close by getting out the play dough or by letting them wash dishes with plenty of bubbles in the sink near you. (Bonus: your sink will get cleaner and you’ll end up mopping at least the part of the floor directly below the sink.)

5. Remind yourself of what’s good about this very minute. Sometimes the problems of a day can make you forget the blessings of the moment: a baby smiling up at you, a cozy home, the cookies in the oven, or the damp toddler singing at the sink. On really tough days, I sometimes find myself being thankful it’s only a few more hours til bedtime. Whatever it takes to help you find a smile and move you through your day.

Often I also find myself remembering my very favorite mothering verses: “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up” and “I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.”

Sisters

Owlhaven — Thu, 27 May 2010 06:58:41 +0000

Whether they’re burying each other in the sand or using oodles of paint to decorate a cardboard barn that they built themselves, our little girls know how to find fun. And they usually find the best fun when they’re playing together. I love that they get along so well! (Click on the pictures to enlarge)