on suffering and woundedness

Porch

 

I’m deep in the midst of the book at the moment, but I wanted to share a few quotes that I came across this morning that got me thinking, and ended up feeling all connected to each other, in my mind at least.

 

The first is by Viktor Frankl, from “Man’s Search For Meaning”  (HT: Daniel Koontz)

“The way in which a man accepts his fate and all the suffering it entails, the way in which he takes up his cross, gives him ample opportunity–even under the most difficult circumstances–to add a deeper meaning to his life. It may remain brave, dignified and unselfish. Or in the bitter fight for self-preservation he may forget his human dignity and become no more than an animal. Here lies the chance for a man either to make use of or to forgo the opportunities of attaining the moral values that a difficult situation may afford him. And this decides whether he is worthy of his sufferings or not. …Such men are not only in concentration camps. Everywhere man is confronted with fate, with the chance of achieving something through his own suffering.”

 

The second is by Robyn Gobbel, LCSW, and relates to parenting traumatized children:

Our parenting goals must change. The question is not “how do I change my child’s behavior.” The question is “how do I increase regulation, solidify safety, and built connection with my child?” Until those things are in place, behavior modification is futile. If your child can’t seem to ‘learn’ or change their behavior, then you are asking the wrong question.”

 

The third is actually two quotes posted together on the Empowered to Connect Facebook page:

“A scar is evidence of a wound but also evidence that we can heal” — Scott McClellan, Tell Me a Story
“As we are reminded of our children’s past may we remember rightly not only the hurts they have suffered, but also the healing work that God has done and is doing in their lives. And may we be faithful to join Him in this work as it transforms not only them, but us as well.”

 

 

 

{ 3 Comments }

  1. This past Friday found us unexpectedly in a ER for the fourth time in less than a year with our five year old son. I hate this! Thank you for the above quotes. Whether through past trauma, medical issues or a host of other possibilities some children suffer… and their parents hurt, too.
    Thank you!

  2. Thanks for sharing this.

  3. After baby’s cancer diagnosis 15 years ago, I had to make a concious decision to be grateful for each day God gave us and never imagining that 15 years from then would still be enjoying the company of my now beautiful girl. Though doctors did not see her living until her second birthday through the months she suffered with multiple surgeries and chemotherapy- she did. And through the years having to ‘manage’ all the lab visits, radiology visits, doctor visits, hospital stays, surgeries, and ambulance rides has help teach me about empathy, compassion, patience, mercy, thankfulness, and wonder at the amount of suffering one small person can handle with the utmost grace and dignity. My daughter continues to amaze me and as God deems will be a bright star in our lives for many days to come. Also have learned through the years, of what we affectionaly call ‘maintenance’ with my daughter, to never assume you know what is going on in a person’s life because from the outside everything may APPEAR fairly normal. Suffering takes on many different forms and affects people in different ways but prayer will most always help. My daughter is certainly a testament to the power of prayer as she continues to thrive, run, and enjoy being a teenager–the little girl who doctors said would never walk again if she lived past her second birthday. And walk she does as well as run, roller skate, ski, ride bikes and and with no limp to the amazement of all her specialists and doctors around the United States!! The power of prayer in the little girl’s life is very evident even to non-believers.

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