I will give it to you
It’s been a rough few days with one of our teenagers. Nothing that we haven’t seen before– just lots of unpleasantness and not much luck encouraging her in the right direction, which tends to leave me feeling discouraged. I had a talk with my mom, which is always therapeutic. She’s full of perspective and Godly wisdom– I’m really blessed to have her as both my momma and my friend.
I so much want to grow the relationship with my daughter that I’m always reaching out to her, wanting to talk and interact, but often am pushed away. We’ve talked about why she does this. We’ve given chores, taken away privileges, prayed with her and for her. But due to hard stuff in her past, she just has a hard time responding kindly to me.
Mom suggested that I not try so hard to reach out — just back off and give her space. Honestly, I so much want to listen. But I feel like if I didn’t reach out, there’d be almost zero interaction, and that feels to me like giving up on the relationship. I’ve never been a quitter; how can I quit on my daughter?
As much as I wanted to hear my mom, the closest I could imagine doing that day was to renew my determination to be less reactive to rudeness and to use fewer words in our interactions. A baby step, that’s all.
Then on Sunday, our pastor told the story of Abraham being asked by God to leave his country and go to a new land that God would show him. There were enemies in the new land, but here God said a really amazing thing to Abraham. “I will give you this land.”
Not ‘make a battle plan, fight tooth and nail, and never give up’ but: “I will give it to you.”
Go to a new land, where you’re not battling, and fixing, and trying to make things happen.
Hold out your hands.
“I will give it to you.”
And here still I sit, hands clutched. Heart doubting the wisdom of giving up and stepping back. Not sure if I can really release this precious child and just back off, have faith, see what happens, trust that she’ll come around.
But still that promise rattles in my brain, dovetailing with my momma’s words the other day.
Step back. Wait and see. I will give it to you.
“For the eyes of the LORD move to and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His.” (2 Chronicles 16:9)