Comments on: Parenting: Hard Stuff

By: Debbi Busack

Debbi Busack — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 05:24:17 +0000

Mary, do I have your permission to print and read your post to our post adoption support group?

By: Sarah

Sarah — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 21:37:43 +0000

Hi Mary.

I’ve never commented before, but have been reading for quite some time. This entry really resonates with me – we adopted 3 from foster care last year, ages 12, 9 and 8. Our bio kids are 7, 5, 4 and 1. It has been an ongoing struggle for us, this transition and navigation of our ‘new’ family. As much as we try to tie those heartstrings, there are days that our hearts just aren’t in it. We love our kids, we are working so hard to make a great life for them and give them a chance at normalcy. It’s just probably one of the most difficult things we’ve ever done – laying our hearts out there for them. Right now, we’re just tired. Thanks for your honesty and encouragement. It lets me know we’re not alone in how we feel and that there will be reward for perseverance.

By: HappyHermit

HappyHermit — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 23:29:02 +0000

wonderful Post. Thank you for sharing.

By: Coma Girl

Coma Girl — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 18:46:25 +0000

I loved this post. I am a custodial step-mom to a “difficult” 18 year old boy who resists the love and rules we have in our home. And you’re right, it is so hard to give the love when that kid is driving you insane, even though that child needs it more than the others.

This is why I always say “parenting is the hardest job I have ever had” (and I don’t have 1/2 as many as you!!!!)

By: Renee

Renee — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 18:26:41 +0000

This is such a great post and a great reminder. You are such an inspiration to me.

Love,
Renee

p.s. would you mind e-mailing me again. I have lost your e-mail as we have a new computer and I am dying to read your book. Thanks!

By: Dawn in OR

Dawn in OR — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 18:17:32 +0000

My 27 year old is my needy one. As she has grown I have stopped waiting for healing and just learned to lay her at the feet of Jesus and to love her continually and to keep loving her. I have found peace in knowing I am not responsible for her healing…

By: Angie - heartchild

Angie - heartchild — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 16:23:46 +0000

Thank you so much for writing this. You put into words some of what I have been feeling. I have a ten year old that we adopted when she was 3. I love her to pieces of course. She is the one though who “takes” the most of me and while there are times that I just get tired, she truly is the one that needs me the most. I love how you said it is a tightrope. It truly is.

Thanks for putting words to my feelings. We just keep on keepin’ on and trust God to fill in where we lack.

Angie

By: Headless Mom

Headless Mom — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 15:27:51 +0000

Funny. Not your story, the coincidence. I posted about the struggles of my eldest today, titled ‘Parenting the Hard Stuff’. I hear your struggles!

By: rrmama

rrmama — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 14:47:32 +0000

You are an amazing mom and you do a great job! I know sometimes things get the best of us but the great thing is there is another day to start over and to bless our children just as they bless us.

By: cln

cln — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 14:20:35 +0000

Thank you for that post. As a mom with adopted and birth children it helps to read “real” posts about struggles. It is refreshing to be able to have “conversations” where you can talk about the attachment journey and know it is okay. It can be hard to explain issues that children can have when people think these kids should be so grateful just to have a family. What they don’t realize is that some children don’t have a concept of family and have made it this far in life in survival mode.
What I really want to say is admire your honesty and determination. Thanks